Maybe you don't need to post about not liking Donald Trump every day.

Politically-engaged or social media circus slave?

A controversial idea… But maybe you don’t need to post about not liking Donald Trump every day. Give yourself a break. He’s in office. Yes. But the world doesn’t stop spinning. China. India. Indonesia. These nations are all bigger than America, with larger armies. Why do we not give them much thought? We’re programmed in the UK to care more about the States, naturally, because the UK is like America’s grumpy old grandparent - we taught her our greed, it was we who last attacked and invaded whatever the fuck we liked. Wasn’t it? The Aboriginals and Native Americans didn’t have Instagram to go “Booo, King George, what a cunt!” But trust me, it wasn’t pretty. In India, Britain killed 100 million people in 40 years.

Is Trump that bad by comparison? I know one thing - he’s nearly 80. And his pal Putin ain’t far behind, sitting in bed with his hot lemon and inhaler. He’s human, like you and me. He can’t live for 4,000 years like a Californian pine.

Elon, Zuckerberg, Bezos … the “broligarchy”. Wheeled in to refresh the failing sitcom, Desperate Husbands. All clever men, clever at spending their parent’s money, but not quite as flashy as they’d like you to think. They made their money from things that are on the way out. Amazon? The youngsters are shopping on Temu this week. Tesla? Its share price is based solely on the perceived value of its products. Do you want an expensive car that looks like a 1970s ash tray? I’m okay. I can walk everywhere in London. On holiday I pay for a twink to cart me around in a rickshaw. And Facebook. What’s that? my younger readers ask. It is, my friend, the past. Nobody wants to nudge Zucker and tell him it’s over. He’s scary with his little twisted Augustus ringlets and face like snow on a lawn at dawn. Peeping Tom eyes that seem to carry the weight of all the conversations he’s watched through the backdoor keyhole.

It’s tempting to spiral isn’t it. And share memes. Virtue signal. Fuck all these people! Rah rah rah! But who’s it for? We already know Trump’s a bit of a twerp. We have eyes.

My advice would be, try harder with the daily dispensing of your energy. You need it to survive. People have always been up in arms, for centuries. About the advent of light bulbs, the speed of steam trains, the spread of mass information - the printing press! And there have always been despotic leaders. Throughout all of history leaders simply killed dissenting voices. Today ain’t so bad. They need you to buy stuff from Tesco and to pay your phone bill basically. Robots will never fully replace humans because robots won’t spend £4 on a frappuccino or Grazia magazine, things that cost 10p to make and hurtle your hard-earnt cash back into the big machine.

My home village, Asfordby in Leicestershire, lost half of its boys in the world wars. Just think - these beautiful innocent teenager boys had just completed school, virgins who had never been anywhere, were randomly and painfully blown apart by machine guns in France, dying in agony while holding their friend’s brains, no chance to say goodbye to anyone. No meaning. No justice. No sense.

Your life ain’t that bad. It’s not the Ku Klux Klan. It’s not Vietnam. It’s not X Factor 2009.

I’m not saying that ignorance is bliss. Read, and listen and learn. Definitely watch Fiona Bruce on Question Time. But just put a cap on the screaming darling. Watch the media circus, but don’t join the chorus line.

China can stand alone quite happily without America, and they can defend themselves with the world’s biggest army. America needs a tough, scary, unpredictable leader like Trump, because America has fallen behind. Playground politics is their last resort. Relax. Let it play out. If China takes over, at least the food’s good.

Say no to social media mind control, these narratives are planted in your mind by experts, 100s of them. Cleverly devised, hand-picked, irresolvable dilemmas that keep you in the gerbil wheel. And I can see the appeal. You didn’t fuck your life up. He did. It’s much easier to blame someone all day than go for a jog or peel vegetables, or phone your Mum. Hate Donald Trump. It’s a lazy past time that gives you 0.4% of an orgasm - which is more than you get in the toilets of the Wellington these days. Presidents are punch bags, it’s what they’re paid for. Occasionally a good president comes along by mistake, and they’ll waste little time in shooting him.

Countries are really ran by armies, by businesses, by religions, and by organised crime. Sometimes there’s a monarchy, if you’re lucky - a touch of class, someone in a tiara to wave at you in your cage. Presidents and prime ministers are just housekeeping. Prefects on a bigger scale. They come and go. They burn out, their heads roll, while our real masters lurk in the dark, cutting out their next puppet with fabric scissors, waiting to dangle him over the fire.

When bees are making honey they stop if there’s a problem with the queen, abandon her, choose a new queen, and start again. To increase the production of honey, beekeepers manipulate this reality, by snipping one of the queen’s legs off - just before the stack of honeycomb is complete. The bees see this deformity and suddenly abandon her, they find a new queen, and they start the process again, consequently making more honey - and more money for the beekeeper.

The media is the same. You are kept continuously outraged, from one drama to the next, so that you keep seeing adverts, so that you don’t think about larger consistent injustices, and so that you stay in your box, and your mental energy is completely depleted. The more you hate Trump, the more they’ll bring him out of the toy box. When you invest in Trump’s villainy, you unwittingly reinforce his status too.

The truth is modern America is almost nothing like Trump. In a few years half of America will speak Spanish as a first language. Screw learning about AI (whatever that means on any given day) and start listening to Enrique Iglesias lyrics because that’s the future honey. Bailando! Cuando me enamoro! Trump is vintage America. In fact Trump’s America never really existed, it was a film set, a photo in The New Yorker, a reflection in a cocktail shaker, Czechoslovakian lipstick on a pressed collar in 1976.

Did you know that over half of Americans under the age of 16 have an active subscription to the computer game Roblox? That’s 150 million children all spending time on the same virtual platform, which is a slightly twisted hybrid of Lego and The Sims and Tamagotchi. The Guardian recently ran a story about a 10 year old boy who was persuaded by an Indian man to share masturbation clips in exchange for currency on Roblox. Shouldn’t that frighten you more than Donald Trump? If you’re interested in politics, perhaps you should take a look at Roblox, because 50% of under-developed minds have an active subscription. Roblox is banned in China. Roblox is what tomorrow’s America is currently thinking and drinking in huge gulps.

But if you really want to destroy Donald Trump. Love something else. End your toxic relationship with him. Book a weekend in Berlin… treat yourself to a carnal reset. Do a shit tonne of drugs, bang a bunch of people at a techno rave, buy some spray paints and vandalise an abandoned hospital. Make a casserole. Phone your Mum. Your days are counted. We don’t need you to tell us about Trump every day, but thanks all the same. We’ve got the jist. Trump ain’t great. Somewhere between Kim Jong Un and Theresa May. An old man tickling a cold hard Slovenian nipple with a plastic straw. What else is on.